Oh, I bet tomorrow something unexpectedly horrible will happen, it's just not fair that I had another fun day, ch' Relax, Im just kidding ;) To be honest it really has been a fun day, I laughed so many times I wouldn't even be able to count. First there was ICT where I happen to sit in the middle of two of the most entertaining people in the world, and I don't wanna give their names away just in case, so I'm    gonna call them Amber&John. Ha! So with John - we got quite close lately, funny thing is that I knew him for such a long time now and we only got to the point, where we don't ignore each other, six months ago. Wow! I'm starting to realise how incredible is that the people I used to just watch from a distance, now I actually can easily have a conversation with. I know how miserably must that sound, still it feels great. Okey, what else..? Oh, remember that really special person I told you about in my last post? And the one before that...? Anyway, after friday I was sure he's going to take no notice of me like he always does, but it seems that actually his new favorite activity in english is to find the most creative ways to annoy me.  One thing I can't stand if someone's poking me! It's so irritating! Altough in this case as I recall the scene, it's rather funny, haha :) And hey, at least he's not an ignorant little ... you know what. But that's nothing, our last lesson was D.T where I ditto had a lovely time with my classmates and had such a provocative yet goofy chat with..Mmm, let's just call her Cassey! That girl sure is hilarious. She's a bit, ok, a weeny-tiny-bit like me, I guess that's why I like her. By all means after I finished my work I got so bored I actually started thinking about what the other D.T rooms must be like. So as I found a stupid excuse (black fel tip pen) to get out of my boredom I made Amber come with me (mwhuaha) y'know where's the fun in exploring alone? So I think we asked two teachers for that so called pen - which I never really needed, the point is when we got to the last optional room guess who showed up to give a sweet, comical welcoming; "Go outside, this isn't your class!" - etc,etc,etc. Ah, gotta love him! While Amber spoke with the teacher I had a proper cute boy-against-girl fight, I wasn't really motivated though, but I know everyone ended up laughing because HE RAN AWAY TO HIDE UNDER A TABLE! For God's sake, what the hell, man!?  Hahahahaha! No, just don't! The laughter was so loud I think we got sent out, but to be honest I didn't even care, It was the funniest thing ever! 
So...yeah, that's it for today. I hope for a good one tomorrow and of course - wish you the best too! ;) x

Ahw! What a beautiful day I had. No lies, it was truly awesome, altough those shoes were literally killing me. Note to myself; to never wear them again. Haha. The weather's real nice, and guess what else - I haven't been feeling like an outcast today. Actually my morning was a bit stressy and I had this "omgilookhorrible-whywasieverborn"-thing,and it lasted 'till our fifth period which was english. Then something hilarious happened and I'm sorry if this  sounds incredibly cheesy,but I just have to write down; someone actually realized that I'm in the room too. Ha,no way! This is something that doesn't usually happen. What's more interesting is that this person went to the other classroom for some 'Mice and Men'  books, and when he returned, just tossed them on my table where I was already WRITING MY ESSAY, then if that wasn't enough he mixed them up (all of this still took place on my desk where my precious writing was) and I just sat there shocked, looking at him, while he was walking away, but still kept looking back and throwing cute,cheeky glances and...and omg it was the cutest thing that ever happened to me since I'm in that school. Haha! I know, I know, big deal,huh? The guy I like finally paid a little attention to my existence. Wow! I know he's like this with basically everyone, especially girls, but it was enough to light up my whole day. Oh my, he's such a comedian! Even at the end of the lessons when it was my turn to collect the piece of writings from everyone, when I got to his desk (he was still writing) but I guess I looked a bit inpatient because he told me like a hundred times to "stay there/not to go anywhere/almost done/don't move/don't even breathe..." etc. God, I wish he would do that more often. That's exactly what I ever wanted. To have a guy to goof around with. So friday turned out to be pretty pleasant, considering that all day I've been feeling so tired. 

Yeah, so that's all for today, hope you enjoyed my fascinating dilemmas. Oh, and before I forget - here's the world's most adorable song&video clip.

I'm so sick of school! Why?! why?! ... why?! Why's that huge, hardwood floored buliding has to attract every single jackass on this planet? God, I'll be so happy when I get to leave... Which I'm afraid won't be anytime soon. The thing that most annoys me though is that I 'accidently' manage to make a complete idiot of myself on a daily basis. Like today, our first lesson was maths and our neurotic teacher had to ''get some shit done'' with the year elevens, anyway we got a cover teacher who - as always - struggles at least 5 minutes 'till she pronounces my first name correctly. I officially hate my name, by the way. I didn't have a problem with it before,but now it's just the greatest source of embarassment ever. After this little show when we finished up and were on our way to our next lesson, I was hurrying after two girls, because I wish they'd make friends with me, the point is I forgot my bag! I left it in the classroom! So as I turned around guess who I bumped into? Yep, that's right, the most annoying,black (not to be racist,but he is coffe black) guy who chose this oportunity to make fun of that. I won't be lying. I got mad.   That's when I usually tend to act like a spoiled brat, and whine on a loud,squeaky voice; "Ohuu! You idiot!" The worst part was that he had his mates with him (including 'him') After I ran off with cheeks burning and eyes fixed on the ground, I could hear them as they had a great laugh on the 'short-tempered,clumsy,stupid chick'. It truly felt great.
Sometimes I wonder... Am I the only one who can't go a day without doing something lame? All I can think about is that one more year and after I might never see them again. Which is good I guess, but somehow it makes me feel dissapointed and I don't quite understand why though. I don't mind being on my own in fact I like it. Of course there are 3 girls I usually hang around with,but they aren't really my friends. Rather just someone I need to have so that I'm not completly alone. I know I'm fine that way, but maybe I just wish I had real friends I could talk to. My best friend relationship ended in primary school with a girl I still talk to on facebook, but not very often to be honest. I've lived in 3 countries since then and everything stayed the same around her. Now she has other company and I really can't blame her. People are interested in me at the beginning,but once I screw up the whole thing with trying to be 'me' it's done, they don't care anymore. Hold on! Why's that? Why can't I just be myself around strangers? Or even other people apart from my family. Why do I turn into this awkward,braindead girly? I wish I could change that, I honestly do. Okay, I'll stop listing the things I want in my life to be right, 'cause that won't do a thing, but it actually feels quite good to write down. Oh, and, hey! There are better things comming up, right? Like soon I'll start my work expirience and get a chance to work around horses, maybe even riding them! I can't wait! Hope it'll turn out to be ok though. 
Tomorrow is another day (friday,yay!)  Wish me luck!

                                      (p.s: I'm so hungry right now!)

News flash: this summer break is sooo boring. Aghh! Yesterday my family insisted on going to some amusement park (wicksteed,was it?) anyway it was just me and my anoying little sister,so yeah... I didn't really have a good time, what can I say? It happens. Don't know what's wrong with me, I just don't seem to enjoy anything lately. At the moment I'm having one of those days when I wish I could cut down my hair into a cleopatra style, change my name and move to..like somewhere in the states, maybe in North Carolina or Virginia... Just to be a whole new person, and start a whole new life,you know? *sigh* It's not likely to happen anytime soon. Until then I'll try my best and be the best I can right here in MK. Oh, you gotta listen to this song,it's awesome! :D

Hello, I am...Oh,right, it's a secret, anyway I'm the owner of this blog and this would be my first post ever. I always tought it should be very special and defineatly interesting,but recently I realized there's really nothing fascinating in my life, so I'll just make sure I won't kid anyone, especially not you or myself. Here's the thing; today was our last day of  term and now we have a week off school which is great. Altough I know that week's gonna be a complete waste of time as for me - like usual,huh? Alright, enough of that, let's talk about my day, only in case you're interested. So I guess everyone knows the feeling, when you just walk in the hallway and look at the people around you as they all hurry to get done with whatever they have to, and you wonder If they'd ever care.  They might return your glance or give you a polite smile,but that's it. And someday all those faces are just going to fade away in your memory, it's like one day you're in the same room with them and in the next you have to try real hard to even remember their name or how they looked like. Apart from all this you'll always remember the way they treated you, and whether you liked them or not. I know it's crazy, but I've been in enough schools to know that's always the case. I think everyone should look at people that way, because most of them are just not worth it... They won't stay in your life for long anyway, why should we care then? - Because we live in the present, no matter how much we're looking foward to the good things in the future. Jesus, what am I on about? I thought I was gonna talk about today... Typical. So this is how it goes; I get on the bus,go to school, and pray to look ok in front of the cool kids. Naah' not actually! Let's just say sometimes I give shit, but normally I really don't. Fuck what they think. Speaking of being in school,my favorite subject is english. Not because of the subject itself. It's just the lessons tend to turn out soso hilarious. We got this new teacher (*cough* she's been teaching us for 3 months now *cough*) - and still she has no idea how are we even called,and she certainly doesn't know how to give out something to learn. So we're just talking and messing around. I bet now you're asking yourself what am I doing? Just sitting in my place quietly? - ha I used to! Trying to make a conversation with the others? - onnit! Yes,based on that, this year's been a real roller coaster ride to be honest - I am really trying to socialize. The problem is I never say the right thing at the right time. Never. So there's this guy *wink,wink* he's really funny, but not just 'funny' like you laugh at his lame jokes to impress him, he's a real comedian, and has a sort of childish, yet amazing sense of humor. He's kind of cute as well (young,tall,slender,pale,freckled with dark messy hair cut in a quiff,judgy/dreamy brown eyes, big teeth and with the loveliest smile I've ever seen) - the point is, I've been trying to get his attention, and at first I tought it was working, and by now I've made a complete idiot of myself. Since english isn't my first language I can't alway say things the way I want them to sound (someone in class even mentioned how awkward I am when Im speaking) I guess she was right after all... Anyway, he still talks to me not really often tough - like once a week, and I think - again - I think I catched him looking at me a few times. Of course this is all in my head. He's not interested, he has loads of friends (including girls) and he doesn't even sit behind me anymore in english, altough he could,because no one told him not to, so it was probably his call. I really tried everything. Being funny in his present? - tick, opening up? - tick, Teasing with him? - tick, Making eye contact? - tick, Trying to be friends with his friend group? - double tick. Again it's hopeless, so I decided to give up on the whole thing. I'm glad I met him,because at least now I get what those love songs are all about, and finally they all make sense. Soon enough he'll probably pick from one of the chicks he's usually hangning out in break, and then I'll be able to keep hiding behind my books in the library and trying to be invisible. Sounds pretty stupid, I know. I still hope when we go back after half term, there'll be a new sitting plan in math and maybe we'll sit together again - fat chance of that of course, but who knows... or by some unknown power I become the prettiest girl ever and he won't be able to resist. Haha! Hope you enjoyed this "piece of writing" , see you next time! ;)