Interesting title I picked, shortly I'll tell you more about it. Mm,it's tuesday, second day of the week and I'm already drained like crazy. I don't know why I'm so utterly tired lately, maybe it's the weather. So, first lesson, drama, deadly ridiculous,then science where I felt like everyone is looking at my legs,since I was wearing skirts, plus my lovely friend on the opposite side kept getting on my nerves. *pure poetry* I'm not so keen on him after all,although I feel like I must mention how sweet that one little moment we shared was, towards the end of maths - he got up to get a calculator from the cupboard (FYI: my seat's just behind the cupboard) as he opened it, I thought he'd make a funny face as usual, at least he was going to I suppose,anyway he just looked down at me and smiled, like he appreciates the fact that I spared a second to direct a glance at him. Maybe I'm only still thinking about this,because the person who I actually wanted to get noticed by didn't pay much attention to my existance. I mean, yeah, when he was comming out from english our eyes met for a second,same little staring-activity happened during maths,but that's it. We do this on a daily basis now. Why can't life,or fate,or whatever,just bring up a great opportunity where we'd actually get a chance to have a conversation. I face it, we had one of those last friday,but I was acting so nonchalant, no wonder he seems less interested lately. Wish that would change a bit though. Agh, tomorrow's wednesday, and wednesdays are always a disaster, or simply just boring. I do hope this one won't be that horrible. Especially since in geography we're going to do this presentation on rivers, usually that's where I manage to make a fool of myself,but hey, I can't help it, I have stage fright! Oh, and by the way, the title of the post refers to a line from that little idiot, he called one of his girl mates a rat, and the chick's actually pretty upset about it, at least according to her tweets. *not like im stalking her out of jealousy or anything,nope* Well, I guess that's all for today,hope you're life is a lot more interesting than mine right now. As for me, I don't wish for anything more than to hang around with Becky&Nesthair and have a great laugh. That or an umbrella above my head held by a very special someone in a rainy day - just like this one. Sweet dreams, reader x

"I don't wanna lose your face
And i don't wanna wake one day
And not remember what time erased."

I have to admit it's been too long since I posted something that can be evaluated,so just keep on reading, 'cause this is going to be detailed. On Wednesday morning I had this math tutoring session with my ex-math teacher (the one who passed me down to Adam at the end of Yr.9) and I was satisfied with the fact that a lot of other students from my year attended this session (see: apparently I'm not the only one who needs tutoring) - and it wasn't anything I couldn't survive. I'm focusing on getting the best grade I can, I mean,hey, it is my last year after all. Thursday was overly fun! Finally I got to meet my new science teacher, Lucy and my new class...and,well,you'll never guess who's in the group. Yup, Lennie's there too,but I'll get on to that later. So in our first lesson the only thing we've done is basically...nothing. We were supposed to set up a presentation for the others,but my lovely group just didn't have the motivation, so I guess, I wasn't very motivated either. Before us, the other half of Clara's class did a presentation as well, 'A' in the lead, going on about speed,velocity and how they relate. Honestly I didn't hear a word he was saying, I was too busy being amazed of his height,gestures,eyes,expressions...aw' ya'know. Today afternoon was no different. Last lesson we had science, and a new seating plan too. I sit next to this guy called Chris,he's alright I suppose,nothing else worth mentioning. Then here comes the interesting part, opposite to me sits this extremely annoying,silly,little cretin. Yes, for your information I'm talking about Lennie. How could I've ever been attracted to this idiot? Whether he's kicking my legs,insulting my mum, or making gruesome faces at me. You know what else? He's being like that with almost everyone. Hard to tell, but does he have a real personality? Clearly being a clown is just an act. Ugh, don't even want to bring him up, just makes me frustrated. Ok, moving on...oh,fun fact: 'A' sits right where I used to sit in Yr.10, and I sit where he used to sit. I think I caught him looking a few times during the lesson,but that's nothing, here comes the best part; we've been put into small groups to test the velocity of a wooden car, and both him and Jake were to work with us. In retrospect, I wish I had been a bit more enthusiastic,but also, I didn't want to come down as,you know, too striking,especially after what happened yesterday (in a nutshell, after maths I thought he was glancing towards my direction again, so when we were dismissed I "not so accidently" stepped on his heel as I was walking behind him, then started apologizing - he looked back and smiled. Sweet, only his lips curved into this "I already knew"- sort of smile.) I hope you understand why I wasn't really showing off, plus it's friday, I'm tired as hell. So continueing, the two guys came up with this amazing idea of how we should disorganize the tables so that the little car will have more space. Jake was about to separate me from the one I was sitting at, but clearly I was way too lazy to get up, so from some unknown reason I just childishly looked up and groaned a "You must!?" - *in squeaky voice* "Yeah, I must" oh,dear he almost sounded pitiful, but I heard 'A' giggling on how useless I can be when it comes to even the smallest physical exercise. While they kept rolling the little car, the air between me and him was sizzling,like.. I can't explain it,but when I put my legs up on the chair I swear I felt him brushing against them as he passed. Twice. Even when we where packing up and I was carrying this heavy panel back to the tray for a moment I thought he'd come and take it away from me, but still he herded this other guy out of the way. I know all this don't mean anything and I'm probably making a huge deal out of this,but I guess what I'm trying to express is that, sometimes you can feel it when a person is looking out for every single little things you do, even if they're really nothing at all. I don't know if that's disturbing or cute...I'd rather think the latter. All in all, my day wasn't anything special, but I'm happy to be back in school routine, and I'm glad science is now settled as well. Oh, and mum promised we would go shopping and buy some new black boots. Also, I was thinking for a change I might try to wear skirts next week. I'm not sure I'd be confident enough, we'll see.

Science's still not sorted. I just didn't realize how badly they want me to do BTEC. Oh, god I was ever so tense all day. I have no clue where am I going to be the next lesson and who's gonna be the new teacher. Yep, that's right even the ones who get to stay at doing additional science are to put into a new classroom. What's even worse - Clara called my dad today and then he called me, and oh god, he might've convinced her,but I'm not sure. Let's face it; dad can't lead a proper conversation in english, not exactly his fault though (*khm,khm*) but, it does look like they let me to continue with OCR. I can't decide whether that's good or... What if the new teacher's gonna hate me? What if I get into another scene when "they try to pronunce my bootiful name"? What if,what if...Oh,I gotta stop worrying so much. Things will turn out the way they're supposed to.  I hope... Okay, changing the subject, after all english is fine, basically we're not saying or doing anything during the entire lesson. Mmm...Humanities is quite alright too,I mean same teacher,same kids,same lessons. Maths...oh, today's maths was so,um, interesting. J'heez,as for 'A' I don't know what to think. I have this feeling that from a certain distance, "from the outside" he's always following the things I do or the stuff I blather on about. I know, it's weird, but like before maths I was messing with the girls on the stairs and as usual I tried to make them trip, and it was like he was laughing with us, with me. *sighs* Im sorry, this is probably the worst post I written,but you know what's it for... Hope everything (meaning;science)  turns out the way it should. Hope you have smoother days!;) See you next time.x

p.s: I could eat a whole lot of these. Ever so hungry :(

Since we're on the subject let's make a list on the things I need right now:

- peace - heart,soul&mind

- something to eat, something yummy... like carrot cakes with hot chocolate.

- talk to someone nice

- chilly weather

- a good book or a movie... 

- just to feel alright.

Simple really, isn't it?

I would like to summarize 
Why he doesn't look you in the eyes
Why he doesn't tend to talk or speak
Why he's not the type to turn his cheek
Why he's not like all the other boys
Why he doesn't like their sports and toys
Why he likes to learn much more than most
Why he has the tendency to boast

His brain works in a differen't way
He doesn't get what you dont say
Like our silly social cues
There not so simple for him to use
Or expression shown upon the face
It's things like these that make him pace
Back and forth since he's confuesd
Which makes others utterly amused 
Paying attention is a problem to
It's harder for him than for me and you
For him life isn't an easy thing
It takes a lot more fighting
Against the things that push him down
So he doesn't have to wear a constant frown

Now I have to ask you why
Do you bully him because he's shy
Do think that he deserves the pain
Do you think hurting him has some sort of gain
Do you bother him because he's unusual
I think that so predictable
You target him with a single glance
He never even had a chance
They have a name for kids like that
Your called a bully or a brat
He's a person to you know
So you shouldn't make him feel so low
Just because he's weird or strange 
It's not your job to make him change
Everyday you tease and taunt
What excactly do you want

I would like to summarize
That he is good, and kind and wise
That he has is own emotions to
That sometimes he can feel quit blue
That his brain creates amazing things
That he has his own differen't callings
That as unusual as he might be
He can still hear, and feel, and see
And yes he might be a reject
But every person deserves respect