It's been months since my last post, I know. I didn't feel like writing,not because there wasn't anything interesting to write or that I got stuck in time where nothing happened, no. It's actually the opposite - a lot of stuff happened, so many things have changed,but I'm still laying in my bed being just the same. Well, there's no point in telling stories without making any sense so I'll try to put all the pieces together and make you understand what's really been going on.

First of all, exams. I only have 13 or 10 left, not sure the point is I'm actually writing my GCSEs for real. Some of them went well some not so well, and others I don't even want to think about. I still have this week to prepare for the last few then it's over. I'm out of this place for good (*knock,knock*) Second of all? Friends. I made many in the last couple of months. Gosh, I can still remember this time 2 years ago  in p.e ,where I was sitting in the corner looking at casey's thin, agile legs dance around the court, playing one of those stupid p.e games, and never actually thought I'd be able to talk to her, much less become friends with her. Not simply, we're tangling around the idea of a weird 'friendship' but I also got to know her. And I'm still learning new things about casey each day, but I'm not so sure these discoveries impress me. Let's be honest, she's overly insecure,shallow and most of all spoilt, isolating herself with these stupid little fantasies that keep her in that pink bubble where all that matters are the details of an icing on a cupcake or the neatness of her ponytail, or most of all whether 'A' summoned a few teasing words towards her during maths just to make her feel important for a brief second. She's so naive. And she's my friend. Whether she likes or not, because out of all of them I know more of her character than she does.  And I'd be lying if I said we weren't close though she probably has a different opinion about this. We're even gonna go together to prom (we booked a limo) with cindarella (the chinese girl - quite close with her too) and taz (I never imagined I'd be talking with her on skype for hours) and all the rest of them - even the boys, I get along with some of them now quite easily. And speaking of boys... you still haven't forgotten 'him' have you? Considering how much I went on about him just a few months ago It'd be hard to forget 'A'- A who was my real first crush, A who made school so special for me... A who went out with casey for a few days and hepled me realise that I was really nothing to him. Well, he might have been interested in  the 'idea' of me once, but that was that. We still speak in science as we sit at the same table, or after maths 'cause we share some mutual friends, like joey but that's it. Unfortunetely turns out he doesn't want anything from me. At least not in our current 'now.' Not to mention that his biggish bff hates me 'cause taz, casey and the others where messing with my phone sending him some pretty embarassing stuff. Probably, that's not it 'cause he's never been particulary nice to me, oh well. On the other hand, in the last few weeks (basically last week) jake's been nicer than usual, which is strange because after we got into separate english groups we never really ackowledged each other existence, and on wednesday he even said hi to me, though most of his friends present can't stand my guts. I couldn't do much but smile, and that was that. What else..? Well, in a nutshell I think you sort of know everything at least looking at the big picture.

Plans for the future? Get through exams, don't even think about touching my stupid skin, go to prom then survive 2 weeks in Hungary, collect my results on the 22nd of august and forget any of this ever happened. Of course it won't be that easy. Anyhow, wish me luck! x

"Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well. "