First and last? Exams,exams,exams. That's all this week has been about. Honestly, I can't remember when I had to go through so much stress just to get some answers right. Was it worth it? I don't know. We'll have to wait and see. But this time I did prepare, I did revise, noone can hold that against me anymore. Ha. You know what's funny? Science is the one I spared less time and the one I was dreading most and I completed all the questions, though I'm not so sure if they're correct. Again, we'll see. Other than this my week was pretty dull. We have proper winter weather now which is not suprising in december I suppose,but it's really,really cold and there are moments where I can't wait for it to snow and others where I just miss summer and the hot breeze. Hm. Ok. Let's see... Monday wasn't anything special, I spent the morning with messing with the computer in ICT looking at expensive clothes I can't have. Then geography which yet again just bored me to death, following with maths where all we did is...I can't even remember what,maybe went through some practice test papers...Finally humanities and english. Bleh. Tuesday was a bit more colorful and I think you've read enough posts from me to guess the reason for that. As soon as I walked into the science lab I felt this tight feeling in my stomach. It was a pleasant-kind-of-tight with all the butterflies and stuff, although I think I feel the entire zoo in my stomach whenever he's around. So I sat down next to him and I wish I remembered what was the first thing he said, I don't know how, he just casually opens the conversation and I'm so utterly amused and occupied with his silliness I forget everything around me that matters or supposed to matter. However I didn't feel like being in the humour to anything, I guess I was tired, but on the other hand I tried my best not to bore him. Not sure I succeeded. I have to admit though there were occasions where I thought he's actually searching for my eyes while talking to me,but from sort of unknown reason I looked away and didn't return his glance. Why would I do that when someone next to me has such beautiful baby blue eyes like some shattered husky puppy. I wish I had better social skills. I never really cared about that before, but now I strongly advise myself to put it together and become someone more fun to be around pronto. At least by next week, when I really wanna take things a bit further before christmas brake. *sigh* So later on this day I wanted to make it up for being such a moody pants earlier that morning,so when in maths I sat in the seat behind him to work with Nala and Sredo on some maths paper and I don't even know why but I snatched the green pens away from him, then when I gave them back he dropped all of them on purpose of course and again I was satisfied with the fact that I'm not being the only idiot around. So by the time I got home I was in a pretty good mood to revise and even to get some sleep and hoping for a better day tomorrow which I got so to say. Wednesday wasn't just one of the best days of this week but probably in these last 3 months as well. This is how it went: as I'm still working on my science cass and apart from me a few other students had to take part in revision sessions after school there was quite a few of us in the lab that afternoon. Most of all there was him. As 'A' walked in for a moment I was sure he won't sit to his usual place (since almost everyone from his friend group was there),but I gave him - probably - a pretty desperate smile and eyebrow-raising and he came straight to our desk,smiling and I think he even said 'hi' and I couldn't be happier. Haha. Truth to be told time flies so fast when I'm with him I caught myself realising that I didn't really work on my cass at all. I just sat there chatting with him. For the first time I felt like somebody is actually paying attention to the things I say even when he's talking to someone else. For example, when I went over to the other side of the room to get some graph paper (which by the way I didn't really need) I stopped to chat with Alisha who was sitting by herself and seemed a bit lonely so I made her summarise what we need to include in our piece of writing blahblahblah. Eventually I walked back and I though I'd try and be fun for a change so I just went like "Hey, I'm back,missed me?" but he wasn't listening at least that's what I thought, because in situations like that I normally don't end up with a response, but he turned around and said "Yes, missed you, you were gone like for 3 minutes and 42 seconds" and I laughed even though he admitted he obviously wasn't actually counting,but still... that small amount of urbanity matters. At least it does to me. Moving on, Lennie was there as well and as usual he made sure he was in the center of attention,so when he started repeating my name over and over again with that weird voice , and I was getting really annoyed, I think I called him a disease then a virus (which 'A' found funny) then asked him not to use that twang-like voice 'cause it just creeps me out,plus it makes him sound like a french onion seller by this point 'A' was properly laughing at the way I curse and my annoyance turned into joy knowing that I can make him laugh if I really want to. Then I admitted to him that I haven't got a clue how french onion sellers speak,since the last time I visited France I went to Diseyland instead of the Sunday market,well "I had a beautiful childhood,didn't I?" The fact that he was still giggling made me even happier. The next thing I knew is that our time's almost up,and it was getting dark outside, he told me that he has to walk home and there he did the cutest pout face and oh,he's impossible not to love. In order to keep the conversation alive I informed him that I would probably had to walk all night if I wanted to get home, and guess what he asked where I lived! No one ever did that before...just wow. I think shortly I started packing up, and so did he. What's amazing is he actually finished earlier,but waited for me to get ready to go (I can't be sure) but as he held out the door for me, I don't think I felt that warm inside for a long time. We walked down the stairs together and I wish we were to walk in the same direction, but he stopped by the men's room saying he needed a toilet so I thanked him for sharing that valuable information with me and walked to the car park with a grin on my face. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the feeling,but I read somewhere that it's okay to feel both happy and sad in moments like this. Happy? Yeah, because it happened. Sad? Yes, because I knew in the following two days it wouldn't happen again. Although, today we did share a moment during our examination when as soon as he found his seat turned around and I gave him a look and he smiled. When we finished and we were dismissed I was walking behind him and I wish I could've said something just to acknowledge his existance,but I didn't know how so grabbed my bag and walked out with Rebecca. Honestly I couldn't bear to stay another moment in that building. Dear reader, you see... I screwed up again. No matter how much I revised I don't feel like I did too well on today's exams. There's nothing I can do now just to prepare myself to the last two mocks and hope for the best. I do hope for the best. As for the exams and to have a nice next week. Oh, on Friday instead of our school jumpers we're allowed to wear christmas ones for a pound. I need to get a christmas jumper. If I do then I hope 'A' will appreciate it and we'll have a playful science double session and... I don't know, I'm just hoping to have a good time. I hope for the same for you too. x

" In the middle of the night
When I'm in this dream
It's like
A million little stars
Spelling out your name
You gotta come on, come on
Say that we'll be together
Come on, come on
Little taste of heaven. "