I am sick and tired, I really am and truth to be told I don't know what to do about it. It's so pathetic, I never felt this pathetic in my entire life,now... wow. Even mum noticed that something's up with me as I was being quiet (in her loud company) looking outside of the car window. At this point I don't know whether I should stay away or give it another shot. You know what I mean, don't you... This ridiculous uncertainty is eating me up. Yesterday I did my best to avoid him and this morning I think I managed to push him away even more, by just being that insecure mess I am. He didn't seem too interested to talk to me either, and when I tried to encourage him that annoying africano just shouted out another insult aiming my love towards horses or my 'now pretty obvious' crush on him and completely ruined the whole thing. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be I guess, at least not today. I was supposed to have another session with him this afternoon,but after my visit to the orthodontist I didn't feel like going back. Maybe tomorrow,maybe the day after,maybe...maybe. I know this has to stop eventually and I'll have to move on with my life...it's just easier said than done. Ok, starting today I'll try and be one of those inspirational chicks who walk around with confidence and don't give a damn about the world around them. Starting with making progress in my school work, since I've been lacking motivation lately and I haven't got a clue what we're doing in physics. Argh! It's so frustrating! He just sits there,ok, doesn't do anything and he gets it! HE JUST GETS IT! How? Why? Can't I be that clever? Anyway I'll try my best today and tomorrow to at least have the knowledge to pretend I know what's going on. The most unattractive thing in the world is when someone's unintelligent and proud of that too. What else... Oh, so that's pretty much it. As for tomorrow? I'll try a new hairstyle, I'll start talking to other people  around me again,like Casey, I'll be a good friend and try and spend more time with Rebecca too, 'cause if someone she deserves it, also I'll wear my retainers in english and maybe in geography too 'cause I want to get rid of them in two months...erm... and yeah, if there's an opportunity given in maths then maybe, I won't ignore him, and try show a more fun side of me, which I believe I still have. Wish me luck,kind reader.

" I won't I won't I won't hesitate
Even if I'm going down in flames
Light me up light me up light me up yea
Light me up light me up light me up yea

I don't I don't care what they say
Even if I'm going down in flames
Light me up light me up light me up yea
Light me up light me up light me up yea "