I screwed up. I really screwed up this time. The humanities CASS. I didn't finish it. I actually didn't manage to finish it. I had 6 hours to do it. I was too slow. I screwed up. And I don't know what to do now. It was 25% of my GCSE grade and I know I could've done better if I didn't waste so much time thinking and looking around. I could've done it. What's worse I failed. Everyone else, even Lennie,even the students with the lowest grades could cope with the task. And I couldn't. I think you can imagine how disappointed I am, and it's eating me up. I wish I could just go back in time and focus on what I was actually supposed to focus on. *sigh* It's too late now, I guess. Honestly, I'm trying to take my mind off my failure, but it just won't go away. I'll have to move on eventually, and that's exactly why I'm typing right now. I'd like to say that tuesday aka. yesterday was the highlight of my week, guess why? Ok,for a minute, can we just talk about how special it can make you feel when someone who normally isn't bothered with their appearance suddenly starts wearing cologne because he knows next period you guys gonna sit next to each other. At first I wasn't sure, but when he slightly lifted his arm I think I caught a scent of sweet,but manly fragrance. Now how...I won't say anything cheesy this time,promise, let's just stick with the fact that I'm pretty impressed with that goofball. Throughout the lesson we carried on our usual conversations, he borrowed a pen,he said thank you, he was humming,he was whistling,he ran his fingers through his hair, he looked at me, he smiled,he let me know when the teacher wrote something new on the board,he drew atoms and compounds in his book and wrote a thought bubble above them, I laughed and bent over his shoulder only a few milimetres away from his face... get the picture? I think if you ever meet someone in your life who you can't get enough of then you're both the luckiest and most miserable person at the same time. Anyhow, since my new mission is to be nice to every single peasant on this planet, after he gave my pen back I asked if he isn't gonna need it next lesson, for a second he hesitated and (again) thanked me but he said he would borrow one from one of his friends. Bless him. Such manners. Usually when people borrow pens from me they don't give it back. Just sayin' I have to admit when the teacher told us to pack up I was a bit gloomy knowing that we didn't get any further this lesson either, but then as none of us done their homework we stayed behing for detention, or actually he could've come back in lunch time but he decided to stay for a few minutes. With me. I told him about the Geography field trip in January where we would go to Norfolk with a minibus driven by my 60 something year old teacher, and that I'm not so sure I trust him as a driver ( there, he laughed) and then I looked at the time again and realised our ten minutes was up. Even after we walked out me,him and Joey where playfully chatting and for once in that day...or week, I was quite happy with myself. Next period we started our English cass (oh,no another subject im gonna fail) and that was that... We'll have next week to work on it though. Last session was maths and the only thing I learned there is I'm now free to make a conversation with 'A' whenever I see him there, and that he doesn't mind at all, or I hope he doesn't mind. Finally, our edgy teacher told us about how everyone's gonna end up failing maths as well if we don't revise, etc... So as for me I'm gonna revise! Yeah, I might've screwed up humanities, there's nothing I can do about that, but I won't let myself down again. No way. I don't think I could bear it. I'm going to spend every waking hour studying, starting today. I'm gonna make flash cards to help me revise, write notes,practice exam questions,research stuff... Hey, I can do this. The only thing I don't know is what was holding me back before...Wish me luck. x

" Baby, baby blue eyes,
Stay with me by my side;
'Til the mornin', through the night.
Well baby,
Stand here, holdin' my sides,
Close your baby blue eyes;
Every moment feels right.
And I may feel like a fool,
But I'm the only one, dancin' with you. "