Summer's over. Holidays too. First day back at school. Disaster. Alright,truth to be told it could've been a lot worse and eventually it really wasn't that bad. Except when today in our first english lesson of Yr.11 I made a total idiot out of myself - in front of the whole class&the teacher,who actually seems quite nice. Anyway I won't have another lesson 'till next tuesday,so I do hope everyone would just forget all about it. Of course it's not that simple. Oh lord...Why can't I just be normal and 'cool' like everyone else? Mum's says everything happens for a reason,but please, can someone tell me what's the reason behind being so socially awkward? Moving on - I'll have to wear uniform this year, and I can't believe it,but I actually don't mind it at all. It's so easy, you just put them on in the morning,do your hair + makeup and - taa-daa! - all ready to go. That's not the only thing that's been simple today (considering how freaked out I was) - our tutor stayed the same, maths stayed the same, everyone else stayed the same. The only thing I'm still worried about though is our first session tomorrow which is science and I have no idea who the teacher is and who's going to be in my class. Please,please,please don't let anything inconvenient to happen. Pfuu, all this worrying makes me tired. Let's see, what else happened? Oh yes, you'll never believe but Cassie and,um,Nala (jesus,it sounds ridiculous,but I can't afford to reveal their real name) so they both said 'hi' to me and Nala also said that 'I was beautiful.' Wow, didn't see that coming. Is it really all it takes? A pretty face, and a 'good hair day' and voila, suddenly everyone thinks you're worth saying hello to. Ugh, Im sorry, that just sounds so vain. Not like I can boast of owning either,but it still felt good to be noticed even for just two seconds. Something else, tomorrow I'll have a lesson with both girls, and if I wished on wishing stars, I asked for them to...just to be nice to me again. That or being noticed by that very special person who's not so speacial anymore. Even though our eyes met for a moment this morning (I don't know why,but I quickly looked away.) So all in all my first day wasn't so bad, I just wish being put on the spot wouldn't mean my head spin,my palms sweat and my voice crack. I'm so shy it's unbelievable. Altough the new english teacher gave an entirely different twist to the word as she said it. Like it was cute. Like I was being cute. Only it's not cute at all. It's terrifying. 

"I can feel the darkness coming
And I'm afraid of myself
Call my name and I'll come running
'Cause I just need some help."