I'm so sick of school! Why?! why?! ... why?! Why's that huge, hardwood floored buliding has to attract every single jackass on this planet? God, I'll be so happy when I get to leave... Which I'm afraid won't be anytime soon. The thing that most annoys me though is that I 'accidently' manage to make a complete idiot of myself on a daily basis. Like today, our first lesson was maths and our neurotic teacher had to ''get some shit done'' with the year elevens, anyway we got a cover teacher who - as always - struggles at least 5 minutes 'till she pronounces my first name correctly. I officially hate my name, by the way. I didn't have a problem with it before,but now it's just the greatest source of embarassment ever. After this little show when we finished up and were on our way to our next lesson, I was hurrying after two girls, because I wish they'd make friends with me, the point is I forgot my bag! I left it in the classroom! So as I turned around guess who I bumped into? Yep, that's right, the most annoying,black (not to be racist,but he is coffe black) guy who chose this oportunity to make fun of that. I won't be lying. I got mad.   That's when I usually tend to act like a spoiled brat, and whine on a loud,squeaky voice; "Ohuu! You idiot!" The worst part was that he had his mates with him (including 'him') After I ran off with cheeks burning and eyes fixed on the ground, I could hear them as they had a great laugh on the 'short-tempered,clumsy,stupid chick'. It truly felt great.
Sometimes I wonder... Am I the only one who can't go a day without doing something lame? All I can think about is that one more year and after I might never see them again. Which is good I guess, but somehow it makes me feel dissapointed and I don't quite understand why though. I don't mind being on my own in fact I like it. Of course there are 3 girls I usually hang around with,but they aren't really my friends. Rather just someone I need to have so that I'm not completly alone. I know I'm fine that way, but maybe I just wish I had real friends I could talk to. My best friend relationship ended in primary school with a girl I still talk to on facebook, but not very often to be honest. I've lived in 3 countries since then and everything stayed the same around her. Now she has other company and I really can't blame her. People are interested in me at the beginning,but once I screw up the whole thing with trying to be 'me' it's done, they don't care anymore. Hold on! Why's that? Why can't I just be myself around strangers? Or even other people apart from my family. Why do I turn into this awkward,braindead girly? I wish I could change that, I honestly do. Okay, I'll stop listing the things I want in my life to be right, 'cause that won't do a thing, but it actually feels quite good to write down. Oh, and, hey! There are better things comming up, right? Like soon I'll start my work expirience and get a chance to work around horses, maybe even riding them! I can't wait! Hope it'll turn out to be ok though. 
Tomorrow is another day (friday,yay!)  Wish me luck!

                                      (p.s: I'm so hungry right now!)